


Reflections

by TGP



Series: Reflect [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Continuation, Drabble, Heero is confused by feelings, M/M, Original Character(s), Preventers, Trowa doesn't cope well, Wufei the artist, after the war, neither does Duo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-04-07
Updated: 2009-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGP/pseuds/TGP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Eve Wars, the boys are left trying to scramble for a purpose for their lives and some semblance of stability.</p><p>Companion to Reflection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. AC 197 - January

**Author's Note:**

> Written drabble style, so there's no telling how long or short a chapter will be. "Reflection" happens in AC 200 roughly, four years after EW. This fic starts after Christmas in AC 196 and will continue to and past "Reflection".

Trowa didn't want to see it anymore. He'd never felt this kind of possessiveness before, nor had anything ached within him quite like this. He didn't want to feel that or anything anymore. It was as painful as it was stupid. But he couldn't move.

Why did Catherine's happiness kill him as surely as a bullet to his heart?

He watched from the tent, gripping his mask tightly in both hands. They looked so happy, deliriously so, as if nothing could ever hurt them again. Catherine giggled and swooned as that man held her close, murmuring too softly for Trowa to hear the words, but they made her blush and smile shyly. She's say something and he would chuckle and look so adoringly back and...

Trowa finally managed to look away. He felt constrained and uncomfortable in a way that made him want to run from there and not return. He'd never thought he'd want to run from the circus. From his oasis in a world he'd never been fully welcome in.

She'd told him the night before that the man had proposed to her. She was so happy. Trowa'd barely been able to keep from tracking him down and sliding a knife across his throat. He was disturbed by his own blood thirst and possessiveness.

When Quatre came and invited him to join a quasi-police force that had been set up, Trowa agreed without hesitation. Within a week, he'd moved in with the blond to a rather nice apartment near Headquarters and was an official member of the Preventers. Agent Heavyarms seemed as appropriate as anything.

Trowa stared down at the ID card, running a finger over it in quiet contemplation. It seemed right, using the skills he had accumulated to make the world safer. Peace and love the politicians could preach for eons, but there would always be a need for people like him. People willing to face the ugly dredges of society left over.

A letter from Catherine came only a little while after he'd settled in. Trowa read it once then threw it away and tried very hard not to think about it again.


	2. AC 197 - February

When Wufei awoke, he was shaking. His breath came in hard gasps, face pale and clammy, his muscles tensed for a fight that wasn't real. He saw shifting shadows around the room, lengthened by the pre-dawn light slipping through his closed window blinds, and couldn't convince himself that they weren't enemies. Weren't dangerous.

Within an hour, he managed to slide from his bed and get to the bathroom, splashing his face with water. He was still shaking, hands barely keeping hold of the towel as he pressed it against his face. Even the soft, expensive cotton, one of the few luxuries he'd afforded himself, couldn't soothe him. His mind was a muddied jumble of here and there and now and then, too confusing and mixed up for him to think straight.

He didn't really notice when he picked up the soft leaded pencil and started drawing on his smooth yellow wall. He covered the whole thing in a scene he didn't see and something inside started to loosen, to heal. He found his paints, one of the few mementos from his home and in need of replenishing, and began applying color.

It was evening before Une realized one of her more prized agents hadn't come in or called. Visions of a man-child too sick to move circled guiltily in her mind. She got a message to Sally and then went on with her duties. The Preventers couldn't fail because of inattention due to one sixteen year old boy, fond as she might have been of him.

Sally arrived then minutes later to a locked door that refused to be answered. She was suddenly glad for a less than savory education, for it had given her the knowledge of lock picking. The fact that she wasn't immediately met with a sword when she opened the door worried her quite a bit more than the lack of answer to her knocking. She called for Wufei as she stepped into the place. It had a cool, sterile quality to it that made her shiver a bit. White walls, black furniture, no amount of personalizing... She heard movement in the bedroom. Opening the door slowly, she started to utter an apology when she found her voice caught in her throat.

Vivid gold splashed across one wall. Violent streaks of black and blood red crossed through it like sword strikes, a chaotic mess of pain and anguish. She didn't know what she was seeing but it wrenched her gut and made a lump form in her throat. It was utterly upsetting and she felt her heartbeat speed as she stared. There was nothing definite, only half formed and twisted shapes that couldn't have anything to do with reality, yet with a startling clarity it hammered into her mind horrors she still dreamt of.

Wufei didn't answer her when she gained a voice again. Sally didn't dare touch him, not when his face looked so intent and far away. He continued painting as if she wasn't there and perhaps to him, she wasn't. She felt a cold chill inside at how deeply locked in his own mind he was. Someone as strong and skilled as Wufei...

Sally left a plate of cut up sandwiches next to him before she left. She didn't even go home, heading right back to the office. Une hurried the phone call she'd been in the middle of when she saw Sally's face. She hung up and gave the woman a hard but worried look.

"Chang-" Une started and Sally slumped back in her chair.

"He's in his own world."

Une frowned a little. "What?"

Sally explained and that didn't comfort Une at all. At least she knew the boy wasn't on his deathbed, though.

"Did anyone speak to him yesterday?" Sally asked suddenly. Une thought about it, then nodded, remembering being notified of someone.

"Yes, a representative from...Oh." Une sighed softly, shaking her head a little. "...Well... I suppose it's a good enough reason to give him a day or two off..."

"At the least," Sally replied with a shrug. "He's lucky I know him well enough not to recommend him for a psych evaluation."

The next two days, Sally visited Wufei's apartment and left sandwiches, shivering with each glance at the incomplete painting. Twisted shapes became identifiable and were all the more disturbing for it. On the fourth day, she found a somewhat weak, very groggy sixteen year old who was again aware of her presence. She didn't mention the violent painting on his bedroom wall as she got some food and water into him before sending him right back to bed.

Wufei was at the office an hour early on the fifth day. Neither Une nor Sally mentioned his absence past giving him the accumulated paperwork.


	3. AC 197 - March

The world was starting to pull itself together, but Duo was still in a state of shock. No more war, just horrible images of what happened when someone tried to start another one. It had only been a little while. There just wasn't time to get used to it all just yet.

It took two months for Duo to decide to join the Preventers, a fledgeling organization of peace. Little more than a glorified world police squad, but Une gave him a dirty look when he said that. She accepted him easily however, and that he was grateful for. He moved in with Heero to make things easier, an arrangement neither disliked.

Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei had become members almost from the very beginning. Duo hadn't been surprised with Wufei and Heero, but he'd thought the other two would return to their less dangerous lives. They had the choice. The rest of them didn't.

Duo'd expected Quatre to go and take over his father's company. When asked, Quatre promptly explained that he was only sixteen years old and not at all ready to undertake such a vast empire of business. Nor did he really want to. So, WEI was entrusted to some of Quatre's older sisters, who excelled beautifully. He was getting lessons on the side of his missions so that if and when he felt ready enough, he could join them. Duo felt vaguely embarrassed that he hadn't thought of all that himself.

Trowa only shrugged when Duo asked why he hadn't gone back to the circus. No explanation, just a shift of his shoulder before he tottered off to put away a few files. It was Quatre that informed him of the fact that Catherine had gotten a boyfriend before Christmas and was now engaged. Duo looked at Trowa a little differently after that. He didn't quite know what the relationship between him and the circus performer was, but he knew they were close. Duo wondered if he should feel sorry about a hidden crush or amused at brotherly possessiveness. One really couldn't tell with Trowa.

So it was, all five of them working for peace. Funny how hard that was.


	4. AC 197 - April

Quatre had very nice legs. Trowa noticed this with a start one day in the gym swimming pool. It wasn't that he'd never seen Quatre's legs before (safe houses weren't always conducive to modesty,) but he found himself suddenly noticing. He'd been living with the other teen for a good amount of months and no thoughts such as that had ever entered his mind.

Quatre was slim, streamlined. His body was deceptively weak looking, muscle compact and strong, but Trowa found it to be quite pleasing to look at. The uniform pale peach attracted his gaze when he cared to let it (though he'd often wondered how such a fair Arabian had ever been born. Blonde hair and blue eyes puzzled him as well on the same front.) All in all, there was nothing displeasing about Quatre. Trowa still rather liked his legs.

That is, when Trowa allowed himself to find anything attractive about Quatre.

The fact of the matter was that Trowa tried very hard not to. He'd been surprised once when his friend came out fresh from the shower with his blonde hair still dripping down his neck and face. Quatre's hair curled when wet. Trowa had been unable to look away which led to an odd conversation consisting of worried inquiries and one word answers. Thankfully, Quatre'd dropped the issue quickly enough for Trowa to salvage some of his rarely noticed pride.

It happened again the three days later but Quatre dropped it more quickly and, instead, gained a strangely thoughtful look on his face. Trowa didn't know what that meant and he couldn't make himself ask. After that, Quatre didn't even flick an eyelash at Trowa's staring after showers.


	5. AC 197 - May

Heero got the idea rather quickly and wondered belatedly why it had taken so long. Une had partnered each of the five gundam pilots with advanced agent recruits in an effort to bring them up to pilot level, but the effect hadn't been achieved. Instead, it was stressing the five teenagers as they effectively had to babysit agents twice their age.

No one had thought what to do about the situation until Heero went to Une's office and asked rather politely if he could request a new partner. Considering the reports she'd gotten from Heero and his current partner, both of which detailed the same problems with the arrangement from different sides, Une was willing to listen. She asked if he had someone in mind.

It took 2.54 seconds for Heero to decide between the four other pilots. When he said Duo Maxwell, she almost called for a psych evaluation before she remembered that the two lived together. Une accepted the proposal, after getting Duo's approval, and sent Heero on his way to prepare for the next run. She called Agent Sanders in after to reassign him to Duo's previous partner, Agent Yerns, and found the two were quite happy to stop seeing sixteen year olds out-doing them. There was no career building as the lagging party to a gundam pilot.

The arrangement proved to be a good one. Heero and Duo achieved great things together and soon enough, Quatre was in to request Trowa as his permanent partner. Une half expected Wufei to grab Milliardo next, but the Chinese man never came to her office. Besides, Milliardo was overseeing the Mars project with Noin as the permanent Preventers representation there. She idly wondered when the wedding announcements would go out and smirked a little as she remembered the special dispensation and psych evaluation the couple had had to undergo to be assigned together as partners.

The look on Milliardo's face when Une asked if they'd needed it had been worth the troubling paperwork.


	6. AC 197 - June

Catherine got married in June, of course. That was when it had to be done because otherwise, she'd have deviated from her fantasies. Actually, she and Timmothy chose June for all the traditional history and the fact that neither of their birthdays was anywhere close. Both were rather concerned with birthdays and they liked to throw parties on as many occasions as they could, provided such occasions were relatively evenly spaced within the year. They were nearly six months apart themselves.

In any case, the wedding was held on the sixteenth because it was open, most of their invited guests could make it, and Catherine absolutely refused the fifteenth. The service was lovely, Catherine strode through in a beautiful, if somewhat short dress with a detachable train that hung yards behind her, and when Timmothy started crying half way through his vows, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

Well, rather, there were six dry eyes which belonged to Heero, Wufei, and Trowa respectively. The former two sat stoically with a sobbing Quatre and Duo, all four dressed in a range of suits and colors. The last, however, had not been seen by a single person there. Trowa had never RSVP'd and still hadn't decided whether or not he was okay with the whole thing. He'd not spoken to Catherine since he left the circus six months ago, feigning sick anytime she called. Quatre had gone along with it for the most part and when he didn't, Trowa simply left without saying anything.

There were cheers and hollers with the kiss. Trowa watched it from his perch in the rafters. He'd crawled up there before things started and remained unnoticed since. It wasn't comfortable but that hadn't made him move. The newlyweds walked down the isle together, laughing and crying while family and friends cheered and threw confetti and rose petals at them. Trowa finally climbed down from the ceiling amongst the chaos and watched Timmothy open the door to his car for Catherine before getting in himself. The car drove off and things died down as the crowd disbursed to go meet up at the reception.

Heero and Duo headed off almost immediately to follow the crowd, but Wufei lingered a little to talk to Sally. They left soon enough but Quatre stayed until everyone had gone. Finally, he turned and looked straight at Trowa and the taller pilot knew immediately that the blonde had known he was there the entire time.

"That was very rude of you, Trowa," he said quietly. Trowa stuck his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans. He hadn't even dressed up. "She wanted you to give her away, you know."

Trowa looked off. He didn't know what to say.

Quatre narrowed his eyes. "You are going to the reception. I brought a tux for you. Change in the car."

There wasn't a fight. Trowa changed and the two went to the reception. As soon as Cathy saw him, she threw her arms around him, crying, and told him how happy she was that he had come. Trowa ended up having to go to the men's room to keep her from seeing him cry.

Later, he denied his reddened eyes and Quatre backed him up. When they got home, however, Quatre sat him down and made Trowa finally talk about his possessive feelings until satisfied that the taller teen was on the road to conquering them.


	7. AC 197 - July

Une noted with worry Wufei's handwriting on his reports. It was quickly declining in quality, looking more harsh and sharp as the days went by. The five pilots and a few other hand picked agents were the only ones she reviewed personally unless one of her assistants brought something to her attention. Une almost called Wufei into her office to ask him what was going on, but something kept her from doing so.

And then Wufei did not come to work one morning. Fearing the worst from her inattention, Une sent Sally to check on him. The message she got back was, "Wufei's painting again. I left him sandwiches."

Une sighed and directed his paperwork to other agents for the next four days. When the teen came back, tired but so much more relaxed, she decided the first paint spree had not been a fluke or one time thing and then that it must be some kind of catharsis Wufei needed to stay sane. She'd allow for it, mostly because his work jumped in quality immediately after.

They met in the rec room a few days later and Une asked about his painting. Wufei paled and muttered some kind of excuse before he escape. Une frowned a bit and then asked Sally about it. The doctor was quiet a bit before she told Une what the wall now held.

Une reconsidered the psych evaluation but Sally talked her out of it. If anyone alive understood what those boys had gone through, they were Une and Sally. Une accepted that after thinking a bit. Wufei had found an outlet. That's all that mattered.


	8. AC 197 - August

Une received the notice on her way out of the office for the night. She stared at it a moment, reading the name on the telegraph, then sent the messenger away. Une read the message in the hall, then uttered a strangled sound that made the remaining agents look up and shudder a bit. By the time their boss made it down to medical, there was a pot on who it was the chief was going to go Colonel Une on.

Ten seconds later, they were startled by the sound of Une's laughter, entwined with their chief of medical's.

Sally drew up the necessary paperwork while Une booked the right flights, then they sent the information to Mars and headed out to drink.

News traveled quickly and before the night shift was over, nearly every Preventers agent was in on it. Lucrezia Noin had arranged for maternity and Milliardo Peacecraft proposed. A few jokes were jabbed over the "shotgun" wedding, but anyone who knew the two also knew it would have happened eventually. Either event.

The wedding was scheduled quickly and instead of making the journey back to Earth, a two way video link started being set up to televise the wedding for their earth and colony bound friends. Une, however, was not going to miss the opportunity to see the vows in person.

She and Sally drank themselves silly after securing a babysitter for Mariemaya, and spent the night at the doctor's flat, laughing and singing congratulations.


	9. AC 197 - September

Duo didn't know if he could handle it anymore. He'd seen blood on Heero's skin and clothes too many times to count, but it made him more and more sick to his stomach every time. It didn't matter if it wasn't Heero's blood. It was somebody's blood and the coppery smell made bile rise in his throat.

He couldn't sleep. There were terrors in the night that left him breathless and shaking. Nameless faces, unfamiliar voices, cold and dark and alone... It ached and burned away at his will, reducing it to a mere shadow of what he used to wield. He was tired of everything and fighting just made things worse. Fighting made him think there might be a chance, a way to make it all stop. There wasn't.

Heero washed his hands efficiently in the sink. Duo couldn't help staring, watching the flecks of brown and drops of red slid from his tanned skin. He felt sick but couldn't take his eyes away. The water washed the sin free, but was it really gone? Could it ever be gone? How many times had he done the same methodical actions? Heero started digging dried blood from under his fingernails.

Duo barely had time to get to the toilet before he vomited.

It took getting a full spectrum examination before Heero concluded that his partner was simply suffering from stress and exhaustion, not an illness or poison. He tried to make things easier, tried to help in ways he could and understood. He took on a few more duties from Duo, lightening his workload, took to bringing home pizza since the braided man seemed to be obsessively fond of the stuff. He even got a few of those horrible old kung fu movies he'd seen Duo and Wufei laugh at and pick apart once.

Two weeks after, Duo handed over his badge.

"I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry. I'll get my stuff out of here by tonight."

Heero didn't know what to do. He took the bit of metal, stared at it, stared at Duo, tried to reason out the whys and whats and whens in his mind with no information to draw them from.

"Why?" he blurted. Duo looked at him and tried to smile. He couldn't manage it.

"I'm tired 'Ro. I'm just...really tired."

Heero looked at the badge as if it would give him some insight into what that meant. He didn't budge until he heard Duo start shuffling about and realized he was starting to pack. Something cold and painful lurched in Heero's chest.

"Don't go," he said before he realized what he was doing.

Duo stopped dead. They looked at one another and hours of conversation passed through their gaze in the span of seconds. Duo put his things back in place.

The next morning, Heero told Une and made sure she wouldn't bother Duo about it further.


	10. AC 197 - October

It wasn't that they forgot him, precisely. It was more that he was an inconvenient third wheel. Fifth wheel, rather. But, it was hard to be anything more when your four best friends had paired off so nicely right under your nose. Oh, they were being very hushed about it all, but Wufei could take the hint. So, he stopped accepting invitations to avoid the awkwardness of being one-too-many and soon enough, they stopped asking. After all, why bother the cantankerous Dragon when their lovers kept them far more entertained?

Wufei didn't fault them. He tried very much not to think of them at all, really. Sometimes, they passed in the hallways of the Preventers Main Office, but only Yuy and Maxwell worked on his floor. Winner held an office two floors up and Barton was one floor down, though he spent more time in basement level 2, where the newest recruits were trained. No, not recruits: agents. It was little things like that which were the hardest to remember. The Preventers weren't made up of soldiers. Instead, they had agents. Silly how well a change in one word worked.

He took missions with Yuy sometimes. Those were moments he savored, when he was able to work to his full potential without having to worry about a less skilled partner, knowing Yuy would pull his full weight and wouldn't be a burden. They were also moments he dreaded, for it becomes so much harder to hide one's adoration when the object there of is nearby for long stretches of time. Thankfully or not, these missions didn't last long and they parted their separate ways easily enough. Yuy had a permanent partner, after all. Third wheel once more.

Then Maxwell quit. No one knew why the braided teen handed in the towel, but Yuy had told Une personally and had cleared out Maxwell's office the same day. There was no fight for it. He just didn't come back and expected everyone else to get along with it. Wufei hated himself for the quiet thanks his heart felt. No Maxwell meant...

He wasn't surprised when Une called him into her office to ask if he'd be interested in being Yuy's new partner.

Wufei accepted, but guilt ate away at him. He was almost happy Maxwell was gone, because that meant he could spend time with Yuy. He could get close to Yuy. Well, as close as anyone could. Wufei wondered how Maxwell had done it. He was still living with Yuy in an apartment only ten minutes from the office, but Wufei had no idea what he was up to. He was almost afraid of asking Yuy. It was stupid, but he shied away from anything that might break up their tentative balance with one another. Not that his interest in a friend's life would have hinted anything, but Wufei admitted to himself being a little jealous and disgruntle towards Maxwell.

Okay, perhaps a lot jealous and disgruntle.

He felt shamed, but Wufei had admitted a while back that he liked Heero Yuy a little more than he should. He was damned if he knew exactly why and doubly as to how to rid himself of the infatuation.

Because that's all it was, of course. Had to be.

He wondered how long he could continue to lie to himself.


	11. AC 197 - November

Duo spent a month trying to figure out what to do with himself. He didn't have to work yet, really. He'd siphoned enough money from various warring organizations during the war and besides the charity on L2 he'd set to gifting every month, he hadn't touched it.

Heero tried to help him but he had little idea of what could be done outside of his current work. Duo was glad for the company though. He talked to Quatre finally, who suggested perhaps going back to school. Duo had gotten his GED, since it had been required for Preventers work, but hadn't thought about going further.

It took a week, but Duo got a late enrollment to one of the colleges in town. Apparently, a healthy donation was good to quickening things like that. He tentatively started with three random classes for the semester, not really caring about credits as much as figuring out if there was anything to learn that would interest him. A fourth and fifth class were added within the first week. School life somehow agreed with him.

Heero didn't have an opinion on the matter, it seemed. He made sure to clean thoroughly before coming home with take out to Duo studying on the overstuffed couch, school books spread over the living room table. They would eat together and talk about their day, falling into relative peace.

Duo took a liking to German. The language came easily to him, as had most languages he'd learned through the years. He was flying through the course, too fast for his professor to keep up with and the poor woman had finally just given him a list of the assignments so he could complete them at his own speed. He was done in two weeks and received his final grade for it. The professor then helped enroll him into the second level and caught him up to the others. Duo did just as well.

The other classes weren't as interesting to him but he still did well. His training as a Gundam Pilot was rather good for this sort of thing. Duo talked to a councilor about what classes he might be able to klep out of and started figuring out a testing schedule to get rid of some of the lower level things. He racked up quite a classes to skip that way.

When Quatre heard about his success with German, he urged Duo to try some of the other languages to see if he'd like them as well. Duo promised to in the next semester. His German professor told him about certifications he could get for the languages he was already fluent in and they started that process.

Heero talked to Wufei about the whole thing. He was glad Duo didn't seem lost anymore and found something he'd liked. The braided teen had worried him a bit after he quit. Wufei seemed oddly uninterested but he never told Heero to keep quiet. Heero kept him updated on Duo's studies, mostly because he found he liked talking to Wufei in general but rarely had a subject to speak on. Plus, it calmed him to talk to the grumpy Chinese man.

Wufei always managed to make it home before he started cursing and verbally abusing Duo Maxwell's very existence.


	12. AC 197 - December

Christmas came before anyone expected. Une made a committee to plan the Preventers Holiday party so she didn't have to deal with it. She gave them a budget, a mostly empty floor, and let them handle things on their own. Personally, she just didn't give a damn what they ended up doing.

The party was set for the last weekend before half the force was off for their week of leave. The other half took leave in the next week. Une didn't want to go but Sally convinced her that, for the sake of the organization, she had to at least make an appearance. It took bribing with a bottle peppermint schnapps before Une begrudgingly agreed. Sally had to grin at how easy her friend was to please sometimes.

Since Une was required to go, she forced her four gundam pilots to do the same and was pleasantly surprised when Heero dragged Duo along with him. There had been rumors around the office during Duo's time there that the two were a couple but they died down when Duo left. Seeing the braided teen at Heero's side again just got the rumors going again. Of course, now there was the added element of Heero's current partner to make things extra juicy.

Maybe that was why Wufei hated most of the female staff and about half the male.

Trowa and Quatre mingled through the crowd, talking to various agents they knew. Or, rather, Quatre mingled and Trowa stared silently at most people. When Sally caught them, she managed to get an update on his circus friends. Apparently, Catherine was already expecting and the entire circus doted on her constantly. She wouldn't be able to do her act soon but her husband's steady job would be enough to support them until she could go back to it.

When Mariemaya arrived from school, freshly changed from her uniform into a rather cute party dress, the whispers began. The pilots seemed hesitant to speak with her beyond the polite hellos and she stuck to Une's side, one small hand curled in the woman's skirt and her head down. Finally, it was Wufei that actually engaged her and the two stuck up a rather in-depth conversation at the buffet table. They ended up stuck to one another the rest of the party and Une seemed fine with that, though she glanced over every once in a while to make sure her ward was still all right.

Good byes came both too soon and not soon enough. The agents dispersed over about an hour and Wufei ended up lingering longer than the others to keep talking to Mariemaia. Une was a bit surprised at the apparent swift friendship but thought perhaps their time together the previous Christmas had a lot to do with it. The two connected on a level the others didn't quite get. As she took Mariemaia's hand and lead her off to the car, the girl asked quietly if she could come to the office after school instead of going back to the house. Une agreed, as long as she got her homework done and didn't bother any of the workers.


End file.
